Before going to bed

1- Your problem is not the only problem of the world.
2- Although you might think that you are the only person having a particular problem, you are not alone in your pain.
3- But we born alone, we live alone and at the end, we die alone.
4- Loneliness is the building block of individualism.
5- Individualism is the introduction of intellectualism.
6- Intellectualism quote is that “I’m thinking so I’m being”; not “I’m feeling so I’m being”.
7- Feelings have an external source.
8- So we have a feeling, if and only if, an external concept gives you the reason.
9- Feelings are logic-less.
10- Logic is the language of intellectualism.
11- “I love you” is another way to describe “I am not feeling lonely”.
12- When you have love, you have pain.
13- You have pain because you are not lonely.
14- You are not lonely because you are logic-less.
15- You have reason to have pain: You have an external source.
16- You can't compare feelings with each other.
17- Apple and orange are different; as you and me, as our feelings, as our logic and our pains.
18- You can have feeling toward someone else while you are with someone else.
19- You can feel lonely while the other one doesn’t feel that.
20- That is because of an external source. It can be a smile, a passionate sex or a music piece.
21- Feelings are nice.
22- Nice is another logic-less concept. Logical stuffs are either true or false.
23- When something is nice, you are happy.
24- That’s why happiness is not the most important issue of our life.
25- And maybe that’s the reason we are alone.
26- I am thinking so I am alone.
27- I have pain so I am not alone.
28- “I love you” so I am alone; although “I am not feeling lonely”.
29- I am alone so I am being.
30- I have pain so I don’t have a logical procedure.
31- But anyway: I love you because I have feeling.
32- I have feeling so I am not being.
33- I am not being so I am not thinking.
34- I am not thinking, that’s why I am in love.
35- I am in love, you are in love but we are lonely.
36- That’s why my problem is not the only problem of the world.
37- So we are being.
38- I have pain, so I am being.
.
.
.
n- We are lonely because we obliged to have pain, logic and feeling. That’s why we are human being!!!

Last 35 hours

1- Sometimes you can't help your feelings
2- Feelings are chemicals penetrated in your brain
3- On the other hand, feelings are just state of mind
4- All the States of the mind caused by chemicals
5- Chemicals are coming by some signals
6- Sometimes signals are fake, people give you signals in order to mis-lead you
7- I am helping myself and of course my signal processing paradigm
8- So, somehow I should struggle against chemicals
9- I've been successful to some extent but I am far far from my regular state.
10- I need to go home
11- I am lucky one, people are waiting for me
12- I will come out of this crap
13- I have to go to school now
14- I don't let hate to come over
15- I will receive the one that I deserve, one day, sooner or later
16- I hope you also receive peace, although you were not honest with me.

Regards

For one of my usual viewer...My lovely Italian sister....For Maria Cristina Carile....I highly appreciate your help and your support....maybe, you still don't know how much you help me....I hope I can pay it back....All the best by all of my cells....

And from now on...

1- I am in in the lowest known level of my self...
2- I haven't been happy in the past 3 months...
3- Actually, happiness is not the most important issue in your life....
4- When there is an ultimate down, there is gonna be an ultimate up as well...
5- I am seeing the path much better after the fug...
4- I am listening to Leonard Cohn
5- Sometimes, you have to be hursh with yourself and the other people because of the sake of happiness....
6- Again, happiness is not the most important issue of the life...
7- Love is the most impotant issue....but what is love?
8- love is suffering...
9- life is suffering too...
10- I am moving forward while suffering....I am sure....
11- Yes, tommorow is another day....
12- and I am going home, to the place that some people waiting for me....
13- and YES, I heard the BIG NO but I am gonna say to myself the big YES....YES....
14- I am happy, although happiness is not the most important issue of my life....

Life is not all the times in the way that we want. You might spend 3 months, 3 years or whatever to change something. You struggle for that by all the means. You try to go beyond yourself. Even put yourself in a position of a pet or crist or whatever. You are trying, trying just on that matter.....You forget all of your periorities, even yourself, your life, your parents, your friends.....Ok, and then all of a sudden you see the door closed....This is not the easiest moment of your life for sure. But when the door is closed, it is closed. And you should bare in your mind that it is GONNA be closed. You don't want it, You don't deserve it, etc etc but you have to approve it. There is no other way whatsoever.

Well, This 6 months was increadible. How much ups and downs I experienced....Wow....

Now I am in a position which urgently need re-configuration. I am near crash. Although it is trap in a mental condition but it is not gonna be easy to pass. I am experiencing a tough period, but I have to move on. There is no other way but Moving on....I've started from sketch many many times and I am sure I am gonna be able to do the same again....I've to start again, it is hard but I will....My days are coming....I believe in it....

Third generation

I read this in BBC . It is bunch of pictures and notes by an Iranian teenager. I just translated it to English....I think this is very much the voice of young generation back home:

"Fare enough, everyone has different life...This is the life of third generation here in Iran. Maybe we don't have disco or clubs. Maybe we are not allowed to hug our love in street. But we do provide all the things that we need and don't let them to laugh at our laughing...we will make them cry"

Untitled

1- When you are not writing it doesn't mean that noting happen in your life.
2- Actually, when you are not writing it means that you don't have time to write.
3- We are all busy.
4- Being busy is not a big deal. Because everyone is busy.
5- Nobody knows if we should be busy or not.
6- If you are behind your schedule it doesn't mean that you are doing noting.
7- If you love somebody it doesn't mean that the other one loves you too.
8- Sometimes we think that we become freak.
9- Actually all of us are freak.
10- Being freak has several form, but only limited forms have been recognized, because nobody can make money out of it.
11- When you can't make money out of something that something become anti-social.
12- My dad talked about panks with me. I was in wolvesmother concert 1.5 hour later.
13- You are not dealing with people. You are dealing with your mind about people.
14- Optimization can be made. But the choice of objective function is more important.
15- Actually, the choice of objective function makes the fitness landscape.
16- If you have objective function then you have optimization problem.
17- Optimization needs strategy.
18- Sometimes your strategy is useless although it is poetically formulated.
19- You make money out of Spice Girls. I make money out if pinkfloyd. Are we different?
20- A good supermarket should supply all sort of crap because people needs different crap.
21- As far as you have market you gonna survive.
22- You might find your market after you die. Look at red hair Vincent.
23- You gonna come back. I am sure.
.
.
.
n- And our story has been finished but the crows are far far from home.

Sid Barrett died

Sid passed away today in Cambrige....Ganaji asked for regime change in Iran....Sollana was disappointed from the negotiation with Larijani....And I still haven't done my pending jobs....such a pitty day....

Sid man, you are the thoughest for today....rest in peace...

King is always in our heart

I've been always supporting Italy in world cups. But this time was different, it was the last competition of the king. An immigrant-borned guy in poor suburb of Marssille. Nice, cool, fare and intelligent. A guy who was touching ball and we were expecting an invantion or let say a piece of art. A guy who never influenced by money and being a celebraty. King was always our king and will be our king.

Apparently Materazi told him terrorist. Indeed, Zidan reaction is noy justified but that guy is so fucking chicky and the world is also too shity. Shame!!!

Fuck it man, fuck it!!!

Z=V^2/2g+P/(1+g)p+h+(V+2)/(1+g)p

I've got the fucking Bernoly equation out of just 1000 data pairs, of course with some noise....increadable feeling, after near 200 generations in 10 different sample societies each with 3000 indviduals. I've got it in the 7th society by mutation....Fantastic man, fantastic...I am done!!

Falsability analysis

I am waiting for my results. Computers are working all days and I am just checking them and control them through the run. I can't really do anything more...I have to be in office all day, and just staring to the monitor to check the server and the grid engine. Well, not too much to do so I am hanging around in the campus. Going to library, barber institute, siting in the grass and talk about all kind of bullshit with friends, getting chipsy and again coming back to office.

I still couldn't extract some proved physical rules out of my evolutionary code, but I am going near and near. Yesterday I got to Newtonean kinematic principle. But still Bernoly equation is a pain in the ass. Still waiting for the last results....

I had a very nice discussion last night with Valeria, my lovely collegue and house mate from Uruguay, about happiness. What is the reason to feel it and like all the time I tried to address it in a mathematical way (Math is going to fuck my mind, I am telling you). Anyway during the discussion I got to couple of very important building blocks to put it in my cognition framework. At some points she asked me what you are believing it. It was very tough question...I am thinking about it all the time, but on that moment all of a sudden the dark side become transparant as Martini and Limonad and I reply her: all the things that I can't mathematically proved that they are wrong....Yes, that was the answer. I read it before in Poper bullshits but I never catch the point.... This statement can be used as the new building block. Opening all the sources of information and then try to neglect the wrong statements by new information and feedback from environment....Yannis, man I will make that human modeling system, give me more time man, maybe another life, and new genration of grid engines!!!!

Another fantastic image that she gave me was the interpretation of boundary conditions in our daily life. I am talking about boundry conditin in space, not time. Like two particles with the same characteristics in t=0 but in moving different direction....She gave me the fucking image. We were talking in a very narrow walk and all of the sudden she told me the word. I was searching for it for a long long time. I couldn't help myself and I started kissing her!!!!!...Thanks a lot Valeria, you are a STAR!!!!!!!!....

Math can fuck your mind. But I really love to be fucked up in this way....At least I am not hurting anybody so what more you want from me??...It is the best addiction I guess....You never pay for it from your pocket....so put more math on the table!!!!

Nice vacation down the corner

I talked to my friends over Canada, it is just 15 days to see tham. Before that gonna be WCCI in Vancouver and I would see most of my idols. Lotfi Zadeh, Jim Bezdek, Kosko and many other names, which I was reading them just 5 years ago and I was thinking wow they are so so far. I never even dreamed about meeting them. I can feel it...Maybe the feeling of pay back, or maybe changing the level...increasing the potentials let say humanistic interpretation of E=mgh....Nice feeling when you can see it....

Principal of Channel Dependency....

Long time, no write and I don't know exactly why....Indeed, I had time to write but I didn't....Simply, because I didn't feel, maybe....Or maybe I hadn't enough confidence because of not receiving any comments....Or maybe the small changes to my blog views during the last month etc. etc....It depends interactively when you think about it and who is thinking about it.... So, figure it out for yourself my friend....

Well, Lots of things happen in my academic life, my social networks, and my inner life which is quite clear and obvious but when you want to describe it, u can't...Maybe, because of its high dimensionality, which doesn't allow it to have a framework and be represented in a knowlege descriptor, like words....Maybe I am just lazy and can't be assed to describe it or maybe, you should just see me to describe my changes...Or maybe it is not enough and you can never describe it...Or maybe moreover, you can never even feel it....

Consider simple four dimensional space....we can't see more than 3D, can we?....project the first 3 dimensions to an space and then project the last 3 dimensions to another space.... Are the resulting spaces are the same? Mathematically not at all....That is the introduction to my new thougth, Principal of Channel Dependency....How much we try to or simply we can capture things beyond our channels of knowledge?....Can we fuse different channels together and capture more knowledge or it just adds distortion to the knowledge and makes it more framework-less?....Like my 5 weeks changes that can't be described or felt and should be only lived...

Present

I've never understood properly Forough Farokhzad, the late persian contemporary poet, as I suppose to do....Tonight I just bumped to this poem in net and I translated it in a sec....It really touched me and I am enjoying it now.... like the time that you are floating in a very deep time-less space like noting, with no idea, no hope and no sadness....a momentary nirvana let say....let me share it with you buddy

I'm talking about the extreme of the night
The extreme of the darkness
And I'm talking about the end of the night

* * * *

If you are coming to my place honey
Bring me a lamp and a hole
Which I can look to the crowd in fortune street
Through

When form destroys the concept

Yesterday, I had a nice night....For the first time, I went out with a German colleague while I had no positive presumption about it....Like many times before, when you are not expecting about some thing fascinating, it happens and you are wondering....Last night was such a time....

We talked about Ahamdinejad, Ramin Jahanbaglo (with all of my respect to him at 4:26 AM Tehran's local time), People over Iran, and of course Nuclear stuff....We went to another place and we bumped to very nice British girls....We talked about traveling, music, our country, politics, and of course ourselves....

During the night I was thinking about many things....Why somebody thinks that looking to just a part of a body is a sin???!!!!....I am sorry guys, but how you can talk about your country and think about the fact that your audience is fucking beautiful and sexy....I think you guys under estimate human nature a lot....I mean more than it is....

I was thinking why we are always talking about I and ME rather than WE and US.....I was thinking about my forgotten background.....

I was thinking about how much similarity we have as Persian, British, Spanish, German and American....How much we share overlapping things.....

I was thinking about many things but not sin....Every thing which is so pure and peaceful.....I was thinking why the guys are so shallow....

I was thinking about a fucked up nation but very deep....I was thinking about human nature and what we still can be....

I was thinking why my good old friends have no morality any more....I was thinking about the hope and dream.....While a transparent blue eyes looking at me from whole her deep....

....And I am thinking how we can be happy without nothing....Just a sunny day in a green with lots of thinking....

Anti-thesis

Sometimes something happens and you realize that you are more than an simple evolving random process….by calling a number you remember that you have some relatives somewhere in this planet. Not even that, you realize that one of them have a boy in 9 years of age and you remember the last time that you saw this guy….It was his wedding and I was 18 years old….and you remember the lovely wedding in Rafsanjan, with amazing sky and stars up my head….And you remember that flight from Tehran to Kerman and driving from Kerman to Ranfsanjan with strange landscape which you can just respect it and noting more….
Sometimes just by calling a number you realize that you haven’t been told that your granny was terribly ill….You are talking with her while you are not sure that she even remember who you are….And you can’t say anything to anybody….
Sometimes there is a bee in your room with closed window and you are wondering what you should do….It becomes the toughest problem of your life….should I kill it or not….
Sometimes you receive an unexpected email from a friend and you are floating in your past, when you were young and everybody was young and so innocent….you remember a felling of a childish love that ended so tragic while you smile….
Sometimes you are going to take an exam and you are saying a stupid lie and then you think why I said that and you just remember that you are a human
Sometimes you realize that how much you have been ignorant and how much you suffer other people because of your ignorance….

When the complexity increases, feeling emerges…..When feeling emerges, unconsciousness amplify and after a threshold it makes the system dream and when it dreams it becomes living organism….and I’m still imagining about the similarities and differences which I recently have a great doubt that is it even worth thinking

The bee is still sleeping on the top of the lamp while dreaming!

Whispers in streets

Is it true?

(p1 AND p2 AND p3 AND...pn) AND NOT(q) .EQUALS. NOT((p1 AND p2 AND p3 AND...pn)THEN q)

Data:
antecepate I

p1) This guy shouldn't be poor
p2) I'm working like dog, I don't like it
p3) My wife is sleeping with an old rich guy
p4) I hate this showeism
p5) The stock markets collapse
p6) This dirty wonker is lying on tele
p7) 26.5% of youths are jobless
p8) My boss is coropted
p9) The war is near
p10) I can't live without money
p11) Oil will jump to $200 if any conflict happen in middle east even for a day
p12) Binladen is still in the mountains
p13) Oh my goodness, this guy has a boyfriend, but we sleeped with him both together, didn't we?
p14) Bird flu needs another mutation to kill 7,000,000 human being
p15) The sky wouldn't be blue after 2045 if the rate of greenhouses gases increase like this
p16) The guys in power are just lunatic
p17) The shit is up to my nee
p18) Shame, she thinks she is lovely but she is just like a piggy vinch
p19) My popet droped in the lake
p20) We can't talk to each other
p21) The national security means international unsecurity
p22) My husband went to hospital because of heart attack
p23) This house is smoking-free

p24) This is my law, agree or fight
p26) All my family have HIV back home
p27) World is our football pitch
p28) She has been lost for 2 weeks and we know who is responsible
p29) My child is addicted to H...He is 14
p30) I've got a cold
................................
................................
................................
p-inf) I am worry

antecepate II

q) I can help it

Watch her disappear

Last night I dreamed that I was dreaming of you

And from a window across the lawn I watched you undress

Wearing your sunset of purple tightly woven around your hair

That rose in strangled ebony curls

Moving in a yellow bedroom light

The air is wet with sound

The faraway yelping of a wounded dog

And the ground is drinking a slow faucet leak

Your house is so soft and fading as it soaks the black summer heat

A light goes on and the door opens

And a yellow cat runs out on the stream of hall light and into the yard

A wooden cherry scent is faintly breathing the air

I hear your champagne laugh

You wear two lavender orchids

One in your hair and one on your hip

A string of yellow carnival lights comes on with the dusk

Circling the lake with a slowly dipping halo

And I hear a banjo tango

And you dance into the shadow of a black poplar tree

And I watched you as you disappeared

I watched you as you disappeared

I watched you as you disappeared

I watched you as you

Tom Waits

Writing up

I hate writing....staring to the fucking screen with no idea....having thousands of coffee, cigaretts, showers, drinks and anything else but noting comes...I just hate this feeling.....vomiting a single word is a great pain....

For the next couple of weeks I have to write my progress report.....today I just tried but even a single word....Well, there is no other way.....Life is life, Bob is Bob and shit is shit !!!

Today John sent me an email....he went for surfing yesterday....I am really jelous of you my friend, the man of the dark side and cricket!!!!

I was pretty sure that you would like the CD....Listening to Housain Alizadeh in the sunset of wild Australia is a fantastic feeling which rare people ever had.....Should be quite unique, like my staring to the fucking monitor with lots of thinking but no word....

Nice coencidence

I'm not a religous person at all, however I do agree that religons had a great influence on what makes us as human being; and even still has a very strong impact on the path of our life regardless if we are religous or not....On what we call it as convergence trend in optimization.... religons, fortunately or unfortunately is one the principle companents of making history.... nobody has an historical/statistical analysis to show what was the most important factor that people died for it....I haven't got a clue either, but I have this feeling that people died (or been killed) for religons much more than lands....I mean, I am believing that fights for religons were much more bloody than fights for lands or resources....You can just imagine what happened during world war II to Juds, what is happening to Pelestinians now, or what happened to Armenians during world war I.....lots of genocids, civil wars, war between countries, terrors, etc just happened for religions, in the name of god.....for an intouchable fact, maybe just an assumption or a hypothesis, like the absolute static point in the second Newton law as a coordinate for accecelaration vectors.

my point is not criticizing religons at all....my point is that the long-term behavior of religions (or bahaviors created because of the religons) is completely different from what it is supposed to be.... All religious people claim that religons can create pleasure, but pleasure for what or by what....by killing people for a same concept you mean? .....I think the history is really bizzare and created just by fools.....

However, sometimes some nice coencidence is happening....last sunday, if you are Muslem it was Mohammed birthday; if you are Christian it was Easter and if you are Jude it was Pesach.... So for a day the whole fucking world was in global peace which is very nice and I really like it.....At least it was a holiday which is the best moment of the modern life.....

I know that it is just a coencidence and we are much more lunatic to understand that we share much more things to make any sort of distinction in the matter of race, religions and whatsoever among ourselves....At the end of the day if you are a radical religious or a fucking Atheist you have to breathe, eat, shit, shag and sleep and that's it.....we have different forms, fare play but what is the core of all different forms?....just tell me that, I think it is just the human nature and only human nature which makes all of us as human....

Anyway, during 14th centuary in spain it was a city called Toledo which was the main community of let say Avant Gaurd translators of that era.....The aim of that translators was translating Qoran, Bible and Testament in different languages and obviously it made lots of discussions and comaprisons among them.....on that small town, which is more like a monastery than a city, 3 religons were living together and enriching each other without a drop of blood which is quite remarkable....and of course, it may be not more than another nice coencidence

sometimes I think it is better to train the system to reproduce the extreme events or just coenicidences, for instance having different religons and not killing each other which is quite fantasy, I know.....So I don't think anymore and I just fuck off !!!!.... Be prepared for the next world war in the name of god, and of course flavored by nuclear wepones....It will be such a nice and holy termination....So hot and energetic, like having sex after a long time...you like that?....here you go baby!!!!

Spring is coming...

In these 3 days the weather gets better.... either this island likes or not, spring is coming....

We had a good time with Miguel these days....working in holidays, laying in the sunshine, talking about good times that we had together, mouing about tele, and going out....nice and relaxing period....

Work is progressing in background....programs are in run....Although server problems is always there....

Having peace of mind is a great pleasure, evan relatively....

News are also not going well....

Noting special

I took 2 days off, doing almost noting....I slept 12 hours per day with lots of dreams....Being in a kitchen with a girl that I liked some time ago and talking about future, meeting with an old guy and going with him to an strange base floor in order to find an ancient document and many more which I can't remember anymore....

While I was sleeping lots of things happened.... Proudi elected by something like 20,000 vote differnce, Iran annouced about joining to the Nuclear club, Juliette Binoche left Tehran, and also many other things, for instance a man lost his wife in a car crash, a guy won the lottary, a cat delivered 4 kitten, a Brummy was punched in a local pub and many more which have came and will be forgotten in a while.....

I talked with my parents today....They are doing well and it is a very good news....

Tommorow is a busy day....

Virtual reality

5 days working like hell with little time for sleep, but I finish the job....The meeting with Xin and Andrew was fantastic....They were so impressed and I was so poude of doing something original....Andrew told me that you already got your PhD and that's enough but I denied cause I want more....More and more and more.....

I was thinking to write my best journal paper up to now....Ha ha....Making new direction....I really like the person who shit somewhere and following them several people are coming to re-do it but they just can't; and of course I wana be one of them...pioneering is a big temtptation.... for what?....If you know, tell me please....

I came back home to have a lunch with miguel, while I was in my little world....My colorful globe of fitness landscapes.....I love to be there and just be there.....move from one dimention to another one....making new generation....mating, mutating, recombinating, shuffling....this is my world.....sampling, walking through hills to catch the best peak....the highest.....Each dream is a dimention....you wana find the best place that satisfies all your dreams....dreams, what is my dream apart from spotting the best location for dreams....

I love my hyper-space....Walking there is just fantastic, and converging....like a society which is ended to fucking showeism....But my space is not like this.....is not only yellow like the people around....it is so colorful like the real numbers.....inidividualism to the max....I just love it....

Coming back and again on net....google.... search....NSGAII+hydrologic modelling....enter....do you mean Hydrological modelling....yes....ok nc-talk list....it is safe, cause it mine.....what the hell is it....again Thorsten.....he published the paper one month after nc-talk!!!!....Again....Jesus.....

I download the paper.....Fuck, he did it....again before me....Fucking 6 months of work.....6 months you now?.....computers, codes, eyes, health, money, girls.....What the fuck is going on here???....

I read the paper....Yes, he did some...good for you man....Ok, you are still pioneer and I am respecting it for sure....But my space is mine.....I will also write my version....You still haven't seen my point.....My version is coming atmost in 2 months man....Not too bad, 6 months after you.....But you should know that I was 5 years behind in 10 months ago....I'm coming.....And I will publish that shit....

The fucking world of numbers is so colorful.....I love colors....Just colors and fading in them....Falling in the optimum and maybe the global optimum.....But who knows where is god... Or who knows even there is a god.....

Changing paradigm....Maybe god is somewhere else in diffrent space with the same numbers..... Do you know.....I built one year of fucking research to criticize it now.....I told you Andrew....

Do you know what is virtuality?....Have you ever think about that meta-program which is running in the whole world.....The unknown code, maybe the Matrix.....You are just a fucking sample....like all others....parrallel processes, migration, reconfiguration, imuniation, combination, selection....So who the hell you are.....Who knows the program is true or not....You are just a fucking sample.....A random variable processed by oprators and then just thrown to the fucking not-being.....

Who said that we are the best creature?....Do you know numbers....which one invented first....I'm telling you .....CODES TO CREATE NUMBERS.....So do you want to take the blue pill or the red one???!!!

Calm days and lots of processes inside (2nd attempt)

Well, I wrote many things and uploaded many pictures but the computer hanged so everything went to shit like the entire fucking world....I have to call my parents and then start reading since I am quite busy in these days....1.5 hour went to shit....shit!!!!....

Gary, man....What can I say???!!!!

Flash back

Today is our own ceremony....as a nation, the only day that we can show our originality....nourooz is always with us, we love it and it is one of our best times...the time for talk to many friends....always nice with family....I mean the best moment....always and for everybody....rich or poor...Educated or working class....doesn't matter, we are happy....

I think all of us are quite positive in the SAL TAHVIL....I, myself, am always like that....for me Nourooz is the time for positive thinking and decision making....I love nourooz regardless to the place or the situation that I'm in....

I remember that last new year that I was back home, my mom cried since she was sure that I will not be there for next years....moms are always true and can feel it....I miss you mom....all the best fot you....

The year before I was struggling with my MSc....quite focused and dedicated to my work, and good job at the end....and I can go past and past and past....I can remember all of them....at least from the age 7....

However, I can't remember a SAL-TAHVIL that I thinked particularly to my country....that piece of land that I am from....worry for it and sad for all the things happening....For CONCERN iranian out of home the situation is really tough....you know what I mean....

Today, in this new year, before I want to ask anything for myself, I just want to think to my holy piece of land....I want to ask for PEACE, WEALTH, and FREEDOM of my country....If we don't ask, who wants to? ....Just think about it....

I am thinking now to Ganji family....I believe they are now having their best time atleast in the last 6 years....All of my respect to him and his family.....I remember when he came to KNT and amir ask him what is the Guarantee that if you go to the power, you will not monopolize it....and Ganji just smilled and said Democracy.....and now I can understand it....Ganji meant it and he paid the cost....fare enough, all the credits....If we are agree or not agree with him, he is an icon....the son of our land, Iran....

For myself, now it is nourooz and I am quite happy....noting for now, take everything for yourself!!!!...

Firends are going

I was pretty ill today....I spent all the day in bed sleeping....Actually, it was not a best moment to be ill but what can I say....most of the time, things are coming when they are not meant to come....Remember your love.....Is love also an illness?....

Tonight we had a dinner with Miguel and Gary.....Miguel is going tommorow and Gary on 21th...It was the last night that we spent it to gether.....quiet and nice.....with some Pacharan and of course his magisty!!!...This is not gonna happen in near future at least.....It is in some how sad....you used to some people and then when every thing is alright, you should leave them....again things are coming when they are not meant to come....like an illness....like a love....

Today, I got a permission to use another cluster.....It is the fifth server with 56 double nodes each 2GHz.....I should change the model and everything.....hopefully I will catch the time....I will....I should....I have to.....

What else for tonight....Noting.....Empty, Empty, Empty....

Syriana and a little bit more

Well, I'm stuck for some time....My work is not going in a way that I like....maybe I'm just too much idealist, which I am....I need a regulator, I believe...Anyway, today I just want to forget about it...

I really encourage you to watch Syriana....Fantastic movie.....I'm not a serious movie watcher, but after Proposition it was the first time that I really enjoy a film....the story was in three different layers: the layer of the young pakistani worker, layer of Bob CIA agent (acted by George Clooney), and the layer of the black lawyer, who was the link to the dirty money of oil companies in states....the screen play was quite parallel but not really complicated....I am not telling you more, so try to watch it as soon as possible....If you are American or Persian, this film is in some how compulsory....Thanks a lot to Aiora who introduced me the film and Yannis to reinforce it....I should also thank Carmen who makes me move my ass and watch the film...

Today, I had an email from a friend who I had no news from for atleast 5 years....I think he was the first reader of this blog....Maybe you know him, I am talking about Alireza Shadabi....Be good buddy and again sorry to make you mad by informing you about Amir's pass away....you know, you just followed the links man, which wasn't in my hand....

Tommorow is another day....

I've started the task queue

queue

LIST...I make list
of all the things that I need to fix
of all the things that I am not prepared for
of all the many things that I read

LIST...I make list
of all the things that I tried for but messed
of all the things that I gave up but cared for
of all the many love that I sent

DREAM....without fear
a worry Iranian is here
under god's pillow which is so small
so you don't have to be worry at all !!

LIST...very long
of all the things that I'm doing wrong
of all the bullshit dependings
of all the things that I love to forget

LIST...very deep
of all the time that I don't seem to be keen
of all the deja vu that still haa no ending
of all the codes thats not going to finish

DREAM...without fear
a worry Iranian is here
worry for the next world war
worry for his friends, for his dog
under god's pillow which is so small
so you don't have to be worry at all !!

LIFE....very short
so when you be here to smoke ?
so what all this shits in my life ?
so why I become human at all ?

DEATH...always near
remember Amir who was saint
go to your bed and sleep
so you can't feel when it be !!

With lovely thanks to Noa, the Juish angel, who gave me the inspiration